Adulterous Marriage Annulment

First of all, it would be abhorrent to use this teaching as a self-righteous ploy to get out of a bad marriage so you can jump right into another adulterous marriage. This should only be about getting out of a sinful relationship in order to be in a right relationship with God. 

Not taking this serious is a symptom of our age. Satan has undermined many of our Christian foundations and done this by a gradual process of nearly eliminating the Fear of the Lord. Without the Fear of the Lord, we cannot even hear the voice of wisdom, thereby causing most of us to walk through life in foolishness. To try and put this somewhat in perspective and perhaps instill some fear in you consider this example: 

How would you feel if every time you took the Lord’s name in vain you were suddenly transported into a bullring with the nastiest meanest bull imaginable? You are given an icepick and for each blasphemy you must stab the bull five times before you are let out of the ring. You will be given no food or water and are trapped there until you stab the bull five times for each blasphemy. If you’ve never been around a mean bull, then the next best thing would be to watch a rodeo to try and get a sense of the fear you would be experiencing if you faced this scenario. Now multiply the number of bulls you must stab by 1,000 and that is just a grain of sand on the seashore compared to your blasphemy being like stabbing God five times. 

This example is still mild compared to the pain you cause God whenever you commit adultery. The most amazing thing is God’s grace, mercy, and longsuffering that holds Him back from obliterating us for our sins. But if the Fear of the Lord doesn’t cause you to shudder then perhaps an even more horrendous thought will. Now substitute Jesus, who loved you so much that He died for you and substitute Him for the bull. Now imagine not being allowed out of the arena till you have stabbed Him 5,000 times. Imagine His look of deep sorrow as you approach Him with the icepick. Yet, each act of fornication when living in adultery is far worse. 

Breaking up an adulterous marriage relationship is the only option for a true believer. To say one loves the Lord and purposefully continues to commit adultery is a mockery of God.

If ye love me, keep my commandments. John 14:15

Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. John 14:23

To knowingly continue in sin puts one in the danger zone of not being a genuine Christian. We are told to examine ourselves if we are reprobate and see if we are truly in the faith. Anyone in doubt as to whether they are truly in the faith means it is time to get on one’s knees, repent for one’s sins, and truly accept Jesus as Lord and Savior. Then, trust him to give you the strength to go through with breaking up a sinful relationship.

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? Mark 8:36

Steps for Breaking up an Adulterous Marriage

  1. Ideally, both the husband and wife will be Christian and in agreement on this important issue. Then it becomes a mutual and caring endeavor, between a Christian brother and sister, whose focus is upon serving the Lord and obeying His commandments.
    1. All proceedings should be conducted according to the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. Galatians 5:22-23
    2. There should be no lawyers or civil court proceedings required except for the simple filing of uncontested divorce papers. I Corinthians 6:1-8
    3. Wise elderly Christians should be the source for helping to work out as mutually amenable an arrangement as possible. It should be conducted in the spirit where you are looking out for the other person and your children more than yourself. Philippians 2:3-4
    4. Sharing the children and the responsibility of parenthood is a lifelong commitment for both the mother and the father. When the mother and father are acting in such a manner, there should be nothing other than amazing results that should be a testimony God’s amazing work in a bad situation.
  2. In addition, those dedicated to the SPIRIT OF CELIBACY must share in the burden and pain. Here are some things we can all do to help:
    1. Provide solid counsel that does not compromise Biblical principles.
    2. Help provide support; such things as: monetary assistance, opening one’s house to help those get back on their feet when the annulment occurs, and providing temporary childcare for those facing job conflicts.
    3. Help to ensure the children are taken care of.
    4. Wherever feasible, help to track down a family tree of sexual relationships to ascertain whether someone is truly free to marry. This should be so thorough that there is absolutely no room for error. A commitment to the SPIRIT OF CELIBACY does not allow for the most remote situation that would create another Adulterous Marriage.
    5. Those who must remain celibate need to be encouraged and covered with the prayers of the saints. Satan will pull out all the stops in his attacks on those who have made such a strong commitment and statement to the world that his bombardments will require the entire church to stand alongside those facing the attacks.


What if a partner refuses to go through with the divorce?

The covenant you made with your partner is invalid due to it providing you with a civil certificate of marriage. Since it is not a real marriage but adultery, it is invalid. For it to actually be a true statement of the reality of the situation would require one to obtain a civil certificate of adulterous cohabitation. I know of no certificates that come in that manner, therefore in the spirit of true marriage you can with full assurance know that it is invalid.

Divorce in this case can get very messy and hopefully you will find much assistance from fellow believers. Here is an opportunity to demonstrate Christ’s love in what could be a very bitter situation. To do this requires much prayer and fellow believers sharing in the suffering. God is stronger than any situation you might face and relying upon Him will always see you through it no matter how harsh things might get. When things end up going through a civil court there is no telling what the final results could be. Although unlikely, you might lose almost everything including access to your children. Our complete willingness to serve the Lord must include what Jesus said in the book of Matthew.

Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword. For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 10:34-39

Ralph Wendt